Peer Pressure in Home Schooling – I Mean…Really?

I was very happy to connect with Beth and more than pleased to have her cover this topic here. I know I have participated in more than a few “what are you doing” conversations in my parenting time. For a homeschool mom I sure haven’t been writing much on the subject lately. I have, however, been noodling some posts I want to write soon on all the different ideologies and philosophies that have phased in and out of my kids education. But until the noodles cook into a good post, read what Beth has to say on the pressure us moms (and dads) can go through.

Beth, a home school mom and teacher, lives with her adorable son and yummy chef husband on Johns Island, SC. She loves her life and sharing her time and energy with parents and kids as they home school. She currently has two blogs, (home school) and Every Spiritual Blessing at where she currently features excerpts from her upcoming book.

Peer Pressure in Home Schooling – I Mean…Really?

How many homeschool moms does it take to choose curriculum for one child?

One, but only after she has surveyed at least a dozen other moms for their opinions!

Peer pressure runs rampant in home school circles even though it is only discussed in hushed tones and whispers because we really don’t want to admit it exists. However, we have a responsibility to expose it for what it is! :) I’m not referring to peer pressure among our teens and students. I’m concerned about the peer pressure among our moms!

All joking aside, I first began to realize that that peer pressure existed when I started attending home school support group meetings over a decade ago. Having previously taught in a private school, it took me by surprise to discover that home school moms aren’t overly confident. They are bold in standing up to the government and school boards, unsupportive family members and friends, but struggle with making serious decisions for their home schools and their children without seeking out their peers. In some situations, it seemed that even spouses were considered less influential than other home school moms!  Consider the following:

  • Reasons for home schooling – A few years ago, one of our local private schools lost a significant number of families to home schooling. When I spoke with some of the moms, I discovered that at least a portion of them had decided to home school because other families were taking that route in response to a disagreement with the school headmaster. At that time, I wondered how many would home school for more than a year. By the next year, several of thsoe families returned to the school because they didn’t realize what they were getting into with home schooling. They didn’t really comprehend the absolute commitment required! Reasons for home schooling need to be personally grounded within your family. It is definitely not the time to try to keep up with the Jones’!
  • Number of children – As a mother of two, I found myself explaining to other moms that I had tried for more children, but God chose to give me two. With so many friends having four or more children, I often felt like that girl who just couldn’t afford the latest fashions. I wanted to be belong, but I really couldn’t make myself like the other moms. I have spoken to other moms with one or two children, and while there are more smaller home school families today, sometimes you feel pressured into a having a larger family or feel less than perfect if you don’t.
  • Curriculum – I have many home school friends with shelves and shelves of curriculum. Every year, they seem to second guess what they previously used. As well, if one mom mentions that she has experienced success with a particular curriculum, ten other moms run out to purchase it. I remember my first curriculum convention in Dallas, Texas. I had taught school for over eight years and I felt extraordinarily overwhelmed by all of the options. I couldn’t imagine how moms without any education experience waded through all of the choices!  I solved this issue for my family by writing my own curriculum. For some families, it may not be a particular curriculum, but rather a teaching philosophy such as unschooling or the Charlotte Mason method. I belong to several small groups online designed for those who follow CM methods. Early on, I noticed that many of the moms really didn’t understand CM or what she espoused, but like the “idea” of CM because they had friends in the small group. For some, it could lead to a better understanding, but for others, the time might be better spent.
  • Scheduling – As a mom who is considered experienced, I often get asked about how we schedule our day. This question comes up every year in our support group and I am always surprised that families struggle with how to schedule their school day. I wonder how they scheduled their lives before home schooling. Did they ask their neighbors or family members when they ate meals, bathed, did yard work etc? I doubt it! My advice when moms ask is to design a schedule that fits your family’s values and lifestyle. Many home school families have unique situations like a parent that works at night or a parent with a chronic illness. No single schedule works for everyone and trying to adapt your family to the majority may only cause frustration.
  • Outside activities – You have probably laughed when people ask about your children being socialized. If anything, it seems like homeschoolers socialize in relevant ways more than most kids. Our kids don’t just go to outside classes together, they do service projects, athletics, holiday parties, field trips and more! Since they don’t spend all day with their friends, this time together is even more valued. However, the peer pressure issue bubbles up when moms start talking about what their children do outside of home schooling. So many moms feel pressured to not allow their children to miss out on any experience. I often hear moms complain about schooling in the car because they have so many activities and classes for their children. I teach classes in literature, history and writing. While I encourage parents who need my expertise to put their children in my classes, I don’t think that my classes are for every child. I have noted that in the past, I have greater enrollment among moms who know one another and discuss my courses. On the surface, that sounds wonderful, but the key to all of it is the motivation behind attending my courses. I’ve had parents want to enroll students when they’ve already had the subject matter in another way simply because other friends have enrolled their children. Over-scheduling our children because other families do so ultimately results in frustration and fatigue for both you and your children.

Please don’t get me wrong…I believe that supporting one another through home schooling makes so much sense. There’s a great deal of anxiety related to being solely responsible for our children, but faith in the fact that we were meant to teach our children and no one else could love them more should be our primary focus!

Have you had times when you felt pressured to do certain things or behave in a certain way as a home school parent? Or do you think I’m completely off base? I’d love to hear from you either way!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

*This post was originally written in 3-17-2008. I wanted to re-post it for those of you looking for a fun way to celebrate this year :) My kiddos still talk about it.

Those tricky leprechauns somehow turned all the water in our faucets green this AM! The toilets flushed green water, too! It was a big mystery for a while but then the boys started to figure bits and pieces of it out. They guessed that the Leprechauns must have put green paint or something in the faucets. After a lot of fun and teasing I brought out the fizzy tablets from Steve Spangler that does this. They had fun mixing the colors…Carter did not know that yellow and blue make green…I just assumed he learned that in Kindergarten (maybe he was absent that day, lol). Connor remembered back to 4th grade where I taught him chromatography and made black with the primary colors. Thank you Leprechauns for the fun color reminder and for leaving us extra fizzy tabs to play with! ;)

5 Educational Apps For iPhone

I love my iPhone. From it I can rule my kingdom (or at least pretend to) but apps on my phone have been really good for my kids as well. I have loaded a ton in the last two years and here are the 5 we happen to love the most right now. The really great thing about this is that you can squeeze a little learning time into the 5 minutes you are waiting here and there.

  1. Dinosaurs-The American Museum of Natural History Collections: This starts out as a mosiac of a t-rex which breaks down into thousands of gorgeous photos of dinosaurs. This is a really extensive collection and I find the boys hopping around from one thing to another on it. Best part is ITS FREE!
  2. iKnow Math Dojo-my kids have been playing this on for a really long time so it was a natural app to get when it came out. Kids can practice their math facts (there are an addition-subtraction and multiplication-division versions) by helping Leon the turtle practice his karate kicking skills. The app works just like the online game and we have been pleased with its performance. $1.99.
  3. b&n eReader-I may be partial to this one because anything we buy for the Nook can be transferred over to my sons iPhone. Saves me a ton of time when something comes up on his K12 reading list. No more “but mom I am waiting for you to go get the book” and since he is so addicted to his phone he can never tell me that he doesn’t have a book to read. The app is free, the book downloads are not.
  4. Space Images-This free app comes from NASA. Like Dinosaurs, the photos are amazing. You can view all the latest images sent from the JPL spacecraft. They have some very cool images that I have not seen anywhere else.
  5. Rush Hour-This is the same puzzle game that many of us (or our kids) played when they were younger except you don’t have to put up with all the lost cars that come with the plastic version :) Strangely addicting little puzzle game that takes the plastic version to new levels. Gives hints and strategies with it. $.99

Bonus: This one is not educational. It is just bizarrely fun and addicting. The whole object is to make the Doodle Jump. That’s it. Just make him keep bouncing up. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

What about you? What are your favorite educational apps? What am I missing?

PS….My friend, Lori, wrote a post on Fun Websites To Enhance Your Child’s Learning so if you don’t have an iPhone (or even if you do) head over there and find some other cool resources. She is a new blogger so give her some love :)