Not Getting Married

A little background for any newer readers who don’t know Carter. Carter has a very special soul and an extremely unique way of seeing things. He was born with spina bifida and was diagnosed with high functioning autism. He is now 11. He is adorable and his unique perspective on life cracks us up daily. I write Carterisms down on my blog as a way to share and record them.

Me: Someday you will grow up and meet a wonderful girl to marry.

Carter: Are you crazy? Why in the world would I want to be stuck with one girl the rest of my life?

Broken Heart

Last night my heart was broken into a million pieces. It was a night a knew would come but it shocked me none-the-less. Here is the conversation as I went to tuck Carter in last night:

Carter: “Mom, I know this might upset but I need you to be strong”

Me: “Um, okay, what’s up?”

Carter: “I am seriously thinking about giving up a story before bed each night”

Me: “WHAT? WHY? I can’t sleep without my story!”

Carter: “Well, I don’t know if I can either but I am thinking it is time we try”.

In my head: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously with Connor being close to 14 that ritual ended a long time ago with him. But, it has still lingered around with my “baby”. I love my two boys equally, with all my heart yet, differently. I have spent so many nights praying that he be OK and listening to monitors beep away. I don’t think I could count all the nights spent in hospitals worrying while he slept if I tried. Our bond is just different. I guess maybe like two people who fight together through a war…

I have seen the signs coming. He is getting more and more independent. He is setting his own goals in therapy (occupational) and only wants to work on things that give him more independence. He is becoming much more aware of himself and girls! All of a sudden he has a greater understanding of his place in this world. He is maturing.

And yes, I know, that Carter has lingered in his younger years longer than most due to his ‘challenges’ and I should be happy to see him growing up a bit more but I am not ready to let go.

Guess it doesn’t matter if I am or not though.

Guess I will have to tell myself a story from now on. I think it will go like this…

Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Stars, Goodnight Big Boy, Hello Little Man.

The Man Book

Carter has gotten into spitting lately. Well, not really spitting but making the noise that he is. Of course both Bob and I are not allowing it but this is how our cuddle/tickle session went yesterday:

Carter is tickling me and ‘spits’.

Me: No, don’t do that. I have already told you that is not OK. It is GROSS!

Carter: It may be gross to girls but not to boys. It is on page 1 of the Man Book mom. I know, I read it!

Seriously, how does this kid come up with this stuff? And dear heavens, is there a such thing as the Man Book?