Not Getting Married

A little background for any newer readers who don’t know Carter. Carter has a very special soul and an extremely unique way of seeing things. He was born with spina bifida and was diagnosed with high functioning autism. He is now 11. He is adorable and his unique perspective on life cracks us up daily. I write Carterisms down on my blog as a way to share and record them.

Me: Someday you will grow up and meet a wonderful girl to marry.

Carter: Are you crazy? Why in the world would I want to be stuck with one girl the rest of my life?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

*This post was originally written in 3-17-2008. I wanted to re-post it for those of you looking for a fun way to celebrate this year My kiddos still talk about it.

Those tricky leprechauns somehow turned all the water in our faucets green this AM! The toilets flushed green water, too! It was a big mystery for a while but then the boys started to figure bits and pieces of it out. They guessed that the Leprechauns must have put green paint or something in the faucets. After a lot of fun and teasing I brought out the fizzy tablets from Steve Spangler that does this. They had fun mixing the colors…Carter did not know that yellow and blue make green…I just assumed he learned that in Kindergarten (maybe he was absent that day, lol). Connor remembered back to 4th grade where I taught him chromatography and made black with the primary colors. Thank you Leprechauns for the fun color reminder and for leaving us extra fizzy tabs to play with!

A Year and A Day

Is how long it has been since my brother passed unexpectedly. I promised you all a long flowing post about it when I was ready. I never was until now.

I am the ‘baby’ of a strangely blended family. My dad (step dad in most peoples terms) had two daughters, my mom had 4 sons. They met when I was a baby and raised me together until my dad passed last month. I say I was a baby. I was more like an only child. The youngest of the blended siblings was 14 years older than me and lived with her mom. The youngest of my brothers was 21 when I was born. He was murdered that same year.

So, while on the outside it appears I had a large family the truth is it was me, my mom and my dad. The ‘baby’ of two parents in their early 40’s getting the chance to do things over again.

My brothers were more like uncles, my ’sisters’ were not really a presence.

The third youngest of my brothers lived with us for about a year when I was in elementary school. That brother passed away  11 years ago.

But I never really had a sibling until Paul came to live with us on his 40th birthday. He was having a mid life crisis of sorts and decided to leave the East divorced and ready to start over. He stayed with my parents about a month or two and then found his own place near by. I was 15. He was a pain in the ass. Always around….sheesh! A bigger mommas boy I don’t think there ever was.

But as I grew up a strange thing happened. We actually became close. I started to understand his rough edge Jersey ways. I think he started to live with my stuck up princessyness.

As my parents aged Paul and I grew closer. Our need to take care of aging parents made us work together. We each had our roles and depended on the other to make sure everything was OK.

He adored my kids. He had ramps built in his home to accommodate my sons wheelchair (even though we rarely were in town). He became that quirky, lovable and gruff Uncle every kid should have.

And then one night he didn’t call my mom to say goodnight. Certainly odd for the mommas boy. He always called, no matter what sort of company he had over. He had a cold/flu though so we let it go. He didn’t call the next night and so first thing in the morning my mom went over. She found him in bed passed away.

I was watching SpongeBob with Carter when my mom called hysterical. I was home in Phoenix within a few hours. The following months were a blur.

I was not surprised to find that he had thought to protect both my mom and I in case something ever happened to him. He was that sort of son and brother. An ex Marine drill Sargent, tough as nails on the outside and soft as kitten inside.

A year later my world has been turned inside out. My brother and father both gone. A family home being sold. It has been too much growing up in one year for me. As much as I have struggled though I can’t imagine how my mom has buried two husbands and three sons. If I never attend a military service again it will be too soon.

A Pink Frosting Birthday

Hey all–have been super sick this week so not much energy to post. However, my friend Maryann has an awesome story to share! Hope you all love it as much as I did!

Maryann lives in Littleton, CO with her wonderful husband, their two fabulous (most of the time) teenagers and a large assortment of lovable pets. She is currently interviewing artists for her upcoming book.  Her blog is www.artists.50interviews.com

A Pink Frosting Birthday

We really lucked out with the weather that day.   When the rain began, I worried it may ruin our backyard birthday party.  Our daughter Stella and friends were celebrating her third birthday, and she was quite ready for cake.  Soon the sun burst out and a brilliant rainbow arched above.  Parents pulled out cameras and snapped away.  The rain dried up as fast as it came.  Cake eating could commence!

Stella, the birthday girl, was proudly wearing her favorite lacy, pink Barbie dress and couldn’t have been more excited to notice she matched the Barbie cake I had so painstakingly crafted that morning.

These kinds of baking projects always look easier than they are.  The inverted 8 cup measuring glass produced a gorgeous skirt-shaped cake.  Unfortunately, Barbie only sank up to her thighs in the soft white cake mound.  It turned out to be easier to make another cake than to cut off Barbie’s legs.  I know, because my husband and I tried!  Needless to say, wire cutters, pliers and a steak knife weren’t up to the task of rendering a shorter Barbie.  I then hastily prepared a small cake to place on top of the first cake.  It was soon trimmed to size and set into place.  I frosted the cake around a carefully positioned Barbie.  The pink of the frosting matched Stella’s dress to perfection.  White frosting was stuffed into the cake decorator to embellish Barbie’s full length pink skirt with garlands and rosettes.  Two big puffs of frosting were applied to her ample chest and Barbie was ready for her birthday debut.

The sun was shining and it was time for cake!  I picked up Stella and plopped her upon the picnic table.  Her plump, little, bare feet poked out of her lacy pink skirt.  The Barbie cake was ceremoniously placed in front of her and her proud smile was caught on film for a cherished family memory.

The little pink dress is now tucked away in my daughter’s scrap-box of mementos.  That home and big backyard are just a memory too.  It’s still there; it just houses another happy family now.

I’ve made many cakes and enjoyed many rainbows since that day.  But that particular day with my family, including both a rainbow and a cake, remains one of my favorites.

Other ways to reach Maryann

WEBSITE: www.CreativeMarketingCafe.com
FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/maryannswartz
LINKEDIN: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryannswartz

Cool Stuff Happening Here

Have some pretty exciting news to tell you all about. Seems like we are finally getting that silver lining after all. So, 3 very cool things happening in our lives.

First: Connor was “Accepted With Distinction” to his first choice highschool. He was invited into the Honors class.  I am soooo happy for him. I have such wonderful memories of highschool and I am thrilled that he is going to get to have similar experiences as his dad and I did. Clearly he was not asked to pronounce Haiti on the test.

Second: Some of you may know how sad I have been about the prospect of my mom selling her home. It is the house I grew up and belonged to my grandparents before. The house is full of memories. Well, the exciting news? A producer approached my mom about using the house in a scene in the new Will Farrell movie. There is a process to go through before being the final selection but it is cool no matter what. The really neat thing is that we are planning to be there the week they are set to film anyway. Keep your fingers crossed.

Third: I was chosen as a The View mom brand ambassador. I am pretty excited about this. I love The View have watched for years. Now I will get to bring cool exclusives and discussions to you all here. YAY ME!

So, that is the quick wrap up. I am taking a few much deserved days off and heading up to Breck. Have a great weekend!

Snow Sculpture Championship in Breckenridge

Sunday Comic: I Think My Kids May Need To Go Back to ‘School’

Today’s Sunday Comic comes direct from my kids mouths.

We were discussing recent world events the other night. We typically do this at dinner.

Connor rolls his eyes and says: “Geez, mom, the next thing I know you will be adopting kids from Heidi”

then Carter laughs and says “No, she will be buying children from a-freek-a”

*No, they were not trying to be funny. Yes, they watch the news. No, I have no idea why they apparently are geographically-phonetically challenged. No, I do not plan to  have any more children much less by buying them.

Want to join in on Sunday Comic? Join the Sunday Comic fun!

Have a Sunday Comic post? Join the Mr. Linky below and let us all know about it!

Ski Video

The boys last Saturday skiing at Breckenridge. Enjoy!

Broken Heart

Last night my heart was broken into a million pieces. It was a night a knew would come but it shocked me none-the-less. Here is the conversation as I went to tuck Carter in last night:

Carter: “Mom, I know this might upset but I need you to be strong”

Me: “Um, okay, what’s up?”

Carter: “I am seriously thinking about giving up a story before bed each night”

Me: “WHAT? WHY? I can’t sleep without my story!”

Carter: “Well, I don’t know if I can either but I am thinking it is time we try”.

In my head: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously with Connor being close to 14 that ritual ended a long time ago with him. But, it has still lingered around with my “baby”. I love my two boys equally, with all my heart yet, differently. I have spent so many nights praying that he be OK and listening to monitors beep away. I don’t think I could count all the nights spent in hospitals worrying while he slept if I tried. Our bond is just different. I guess maybe like two people who fight together through a war…

I have seen the signs coming. He is getting more and more independent. He is setting his own goals in therapy (occupational) and only wants to work on things that give him more independence. He is becoming much more aware of himself and girls! All of a sudden he has a greater understanding of his place in this world. He is maturing.

And yes, I know, that Carter has lingered in his younger years longer than most due to his ‘challenges’ and I should be happy to see him growing up a bit more but I am not ready to let go.

Guess it doesn’t matter if I am or not though.

Guess I will have to tell myself a story from now on. I think it will go like this…

Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Stars, Goodnight Big Boy, Hello Little Man.

Giving Up the Fight

*My dad passed last night shortly after midnight. It was a long day full of blessings. I never understood people when they said it was a privilege to be there in the end but I get it now. Thank you to all for your comments. They meant a lot to me as they came through on my phone yesterday. Things here on the blog will be on auto pilot the next few days. Thank goodness for wordpress scheduling features

I am sitting by my dads bedside now. By everyones estimation today will be the day. He has followed all the classic signs-seeing people that aren’t there, not taking anymore food or water, what they term the ‘death rattle’ breathing.

The chaplain has come and gone. Everything that needs to have been said has. It is just a matter of sitting and waiting for him to lose this last fight.

I am thankful to be here. Even though I can’t stop my tears which if you know me is something I rarely give myself permission to do.

I know he knows I am here even though he can no longer acknowledge me. I can’t explain what a gift it has been to listen to him talk to the people he is seeing that I can’t. He told me yesterday about a nice visit he had with my brother at his cabin. My brother passed in March. I know he is not alone.

Please forgive any weird formatting or spelling. I am posting from my phone. I have several days of things coming on autopost that I set up a few days ago. So please forgive me if I don’t answer comments in the next few days. I appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers and I will just need some time.

Love,
B

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