Sometimes Moving Forwards Means Falling Down

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I have been a painfully lazy blogger lately. Life is happening and I just haven’t had time to process it all.

I had a rough couple weeks a while ago: letting go, changing directions, remembering what is most important. I think we all need those reality checks now and again.

Then I fell down the garage stairs in an oh so graceful descent and hurt myself. My first thought as I was laying face down on the cement with what I was sure was a broken ankle (it wasn’t, just a nasty sprain) was “Oh NO! I have the EVO Conference in 3 days”. I dragged my battered behind off the ground and drove myself over to the urgent care which is thankfully right next door to the most awesome PT place (have been going there for a few months since the boot camp injury). Between the two of them they got me pretty patched up and gave me some good meds to deal with the pain. Bob had to go to NY in the am so there was no chance for me to feel sorry for myself. I kept going and by the day EVO rolled around I was pretty good to go. By the time I came home it was pretty much completely healed. And so were a lot of other things about me.

So, the short version of EVO is that it was simply AMAZING. I had a GREAT time hanging out with my most awesomest McMansion roommate Complicated Mama. We had the most kick butt suite ever! It was so awesome that we held improptu parties there two nights. Next year we have decided to host the Complicated Chaotic Castle After The Jump Party (so pr feel free to line up to sponsor). I had a blast accompanying Corine on her first ski lift ride (and we will have dueling posts to follow on that adventure).

The long version of EVO is that I found a new direction. Old passions rekindled and new tools to ignite the fire. I spent a good deal of time collaborating with the Make A Wish foundation. I came away with such a respect of all people involved with this fabulous organization. I realized that while I have so many, many wonderful friends that read my blog not many of you know our story with the little guy. I forget when I say casually that Cart is headed back into the hospital for one thing or another that some of you have no idea that is such a normal part of our lives. I shock you and then I feel bad. To us, not much is a big deal. Going to the hospital for tests and procedures and even surgeries is as normal to us as you taking your kids to the pool. But I FORGET that you all weren’t there when he was born and through those first horrible three to four years and many of you haven’t been there when I have called my best buds down the street to watch Con while I run Cart in for an emergency. So I am finally going to tell the story. I don’t know how long it will take me. Its a 12 year journey at this point. But I promise to start unwrapping the layers. We are going to apply (finally) for Carter’s Make A Wish and I hope you will follow me through that process too. Don’t worry, it won’t be all doom and gloom and I will not be writing about it every blog post but it is time for me to tell my story. I will do my best to make it my story and not his. I am pretty sensitive to not exploiting or oversharing on his behalf. But I will tell you what I have been through, how I felt felt through the years and what I do to cope (beyond drinking a lot). I think it will do a lot to heal and help other moms who are just beginning the journey of having a child with significant medical issues. At least I hope it does.