Giving Up the Fight

*My dad passed last night shortly after midnight. It was a long day full of blessings. I never understood people when they said it was a privilege to be there in the end but I get it now. Thank you to all for your comments. They meant a lot to me as they came through on my phone yesterday. Things here on the blog will be on auto pilot the next few days. Thank goodness for wordpress scheduling features :)

I am sitting by my dads bedside now. By everyones estimation today will be the day. He has followed all the classic signs-seeing people that aren’t there, not taking anymore food or water, what they term the ‘death rattle’ breathing.

The chaplain has come and gone. Everything that needs to have been said has. It is just a matter of sitting and waiting for him to lose this last fight.

I am thankful to be here. Even though I can’t stop my tears which if you know me is something I rarely give myself permission to do.

I know he knows I am here even though he can no longer acknowledge me. I can’t explain what a gift it has been to listen to him talk to the people he is seeing that I can’t. He told me yesterday about a nice visit he had with my brother at his cabin. My brother passed in March. I know he is not alone.

Please forgive any weird formatting or spelling. I am posting from my phone. I have several days of things coming on autopost that I set up a few days ago. So please forgive me if I don’t answer comments in the next few days. I appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers and I will just need some time.

Love,
B

Comments

  1. I’m so sorry, but I’m glad that you are able to find some comfort in your dad seeing your brother. Hang in there.

  2. I am so, so, so sorry for you. Many prayers are going up for you, your dad and family. God bless.

  3. Sending you a big hug right! {{hug}}
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  4. Abbysdad & Abbysmum says:

    Thinking of you and your family during this time Barb.

  5. I am so sorry and prayers to you and your family. I am glad to hear that you are able to be with him and spend this time with him.

  6. I am so sorry. cyber hugs, and real life prayer going your way.

  7. Barb- my thoughts and prayers are with you & your family. I am so sorry. I am here if you need anything
    .-= Susan´s last blog ..Planning a Science Fair =-.

  8. THERESA BERNTSON says:

    Paul is watching over you both just don’t think you are alone there is a reason for this which no one in this universe can know love you with all my being sorry i can’t help

  9. You are very lucky to be by his side during this. I am so sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

  10. ((HUGS)))) Keeping you & your family in my thoughts and prayers !
    My recent post Hope for Haiti & Justin Timberlake made me thirteen again

  11. ((HUGS)))) Keeping you & your family in my thoughts and prayers !
    My recent post Hope for Haiti & Justin Timberlake made me thirteen again

  12. Barb – I left a message yesterday but my phone was acting up. It looks like it didn’t come thru. I’m so sorry. I’m so glad you were able to have your dad here and be with him during this time. Hugs and prayers to your family during this time. Please let me know if you need anything.

  13. Lori Cooney says:

    Sending hugs along with my thoughts and prayers.
    Your Friend, Lori

  14. You're in my prayers, Barb – so glad you got to be there for your dad in his final moments.
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  15. chris bird says:

    Thinking of you during this difficult time, Barb. I'm glad you were able to be with him. From all accounts, including my husband's grandmother's passing in Hospice this summer, your brother and other loved ones who have passed on were definitely with him as well.

  16. Love you so much hon. Got your text last night. I know it's been a lot to deal with. I only wish I could've been more "there" for you of late. Sunday was K's birthday – so I was rather obsessed by that.
    I'm glad you got to be there for your Dad.
    So sorry to hear that he passed – but happy that he went to see your brother!

    ((((hug))))

    Call or text if there's anything at all I can do.
    L.

  17. Barb,
    Sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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